“Justin Case You Haven’t Seen It”: Snowpiercer


Netflix has suggested another movie for me this week. That movie is Snowpiercer. At first glance I thought maybe it was a new James Bond movie. With a name like that, how could it not be? Then I read the synopsis that Netflix provided me and I said to myself, “Well this isn’t a James Bond movie at all.” So I decided to watch it based on the interesting synopsis.

Snowpiercer is a movie that takes place after global warming has put the world into a new ice age. The only survivors are on a train which was designed like a cruise ship to sustain itself. There is a car where they grow vegetables, one that purifies water, etc. So like any civilization, the people must be divided into classes and all of the riff-raff are exiled to the rear of the train. They are treated like prisoners so naturally they want to revolt and take over the train. Stuff happens and then the movie ends. Good times.

I can also sum this movie up by telling you that this is the macabre tale of what happens when Captain America grows a beard. I guess having a beard makes you a badass so I’m okay with that (I’m typing this as I stroke my beard). Captain America, I mean Chris Evans, gave a mediocre performance in this flick. It wasn’t just him though. I feel like the director couldn’t make up his mind about what he wanted. Now I know it sounds like I’m bashing this movie straight out the gate, but to be fair I did watch the whole thing. It was one of those movies that holds your interest enough to finish it, but when it’s over you wonder why you finished watching it.

It wasn’t all bad though. The special effects were okay, well better than anything on the Syfy network. The story was also one that wasn’t so overplayed at this point so at least it remained somewhat interesting. There were a couple of goofs though. The one that stuck out the most and still lingers with me is the voice translators. Part of the plot to take over the train was to remove a prisoner from some kind of sleepy time room (kind of looked like a morgue, but it wasn’t addressed on what it was or how it worked). There was a language barrier and they busted out the translators. The translator magically stops translating but somehow they still manage to understand each other. Poof! Language barrier gone! In the next scene where they are talking the translator is going again. Poof! Language barrier back!

Aside from the goofs of that and calling a cigarette a Marlboro light (it had an orange filter), the movie seemed to change pace quite a bit. It felt like every time it should be picking up, it was slowing down and vice versa. Oh and I can’t forget the fighting. It didn’t look totally fake, but it was so timed and unnatural.

Overall I’d say it was worth a watch, but nothing I would watch again. It’s not horrible, but not great either. I believe it dabbles in mediocrity.

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