By: Daniel Sheffield
As sad as it is to admit, most of us have been through a breakup at some point in our lives. To
put it bluntly: they suck. Getting dumped, being the dumper, all of it. We find solace in our
friends and family, food, video games and movies, and other earthly pleasures to ease the pain.
I’d like to share some advice, as well as a couple of my own experiences with breakups, to show
that breakups suck, but how they’re also very important.
First, this is going to hurt. A lot. Whether you’ve been dating for nine weeks or nine months, the
pain of losing someone that you held near and dear to your heart can be devastating. Maybe
she doesn’t feel the same way, or maybe he doesn’t want to try a long distance relationship.
Whatever the reason is, it’s led you to here.
Here is the most crucial takeaway from the immediate post-breakup period: it’s okay to be sad,
but it’s not going to kill you. One thing I like to keep in mind when these things happen is that
my parents found someone eventually. Seriously, ask your parents. There’s a very large chance
that your parents dated someone else during their college years. Or maybe they didn’t date
anyone during that time because they were “finding themselves.” This phrase can have a few
connotations, but I think one particular meaning is helpful when recovering from a breakup,
which brings me to my second point.
Use being single to take time for yourself and figure out what you want. I dated a girl for
roughly two and a half years. We met in high school and dated until this past March. After the
breakup, I took time for myself. I started working out, eating better, focusing on work and school,
and just trying to better myself. From there, I decided I wasn’t going to set limits for myself in my
personal life. I’ve met a lot of remarkable women and had a lot of fun, and on the other hand, I’ve
also been rejected here and there. But that’s okay, because breakups, like rejections, are going
to happen. The only way to avoid a breakup is to not date, and what’s the fun in that while
After the dust has settled and you’ve given yourself enough time, you may find yourself in a
position where you’re ready to date again. For those of you who feel this way, I would like to
leave with my last bit of advice: we are all still young. My parents remind me of this from time
to time. While we still feel as though we’re legal adults and can party and vote and do our own
taxes, we are all still young in the grand scheme of things. Right now is the time to go out and
make friends, make decisions both good and bad, make mistakes and learn from them, and
figure out who you are.
I know that you really liked them, or maybe even loved them. But things didn’t work out for a
reason. I can’t tell you that you’re going to wake up and not feel anything because it does take
time to heal. But when you’ve found yourself and gotten back on your feet, ready to take on the
world, you’ll find yourself in a better place than you were before.
If you have questions or comments referring to your love life or relationships, I’d be interested in
starting up a “Dear Abby” of sorts, wherein I may answer your questions to the best of my
abilities publicly in the form of a separate article. Feel free to email me at
firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you for reading!